Committed
by thisis4fic
Summary: In which Rachel has problems understanding the word "no". Background Kurt/Blaine. Post 5x18.


This is the first fanfiction I've written in over 12 years, the last one being some really terrible Remus/Sirius and Harry/Hermione Hogwarts fic that I don't even remember where I posted. I'm not a fic writer, and this was written in about 20 minutes with no beta. So, yeah...

I don't even know why I'm doing this, I just had to get it out.

* * *

"...No."

"...I'm sorry Miss Berry, you're not what we're looking for."

Rachel walked out of the office, attempting to hold back her tears yet again. How many times would she have to face rejection? Nobody in Lima, or New York had ever told her "no", what made LA so special? She didn't understand it!

Stepping into the car that the studio had provided to take her to the apartment that they were providing her while she met with various producers and tv executives, Rachel Berry wondered where it had all gone wrong? She had dropped out of NYADA with little fanfare to take up the role of Fanny Brice full-time on Broadway! That was an achievement - why couldn't anybody recognize that? Then she'd been given the opportunity of a lifetime to star in her own tv show in a development deal in Los Angeles! That was something people dreamed about, and she'd had it dropped straight into her lap without even trying. Understandably, given that opportunity, she'd had to terminate her contract for the production of Funny Girl early and move to LA as soon as she could! Rachel's adoring fans clearly needed to see her name lit up on the screen.

So why was everyone in LA making her life so difficult? Rachel had been to meetings with dozens of writers, producers, and studio executives in the months since moving to Los Angeles, but she kept running into people telling her that they didn't want to work with her. Why wouldn't they? Rachel Berry was a _star_! She was famous, the lead role on Broadway made her popular!

When the car pulled up outside the apartment, the driver opened her door and Rachel walked off without a word, clearly upset by another rejection. Letting herself inside, she immediately dialled Kurt in New York to bemoan her miserable life.

"Rachel! How did the meeting go with the studio today?"

"Kurt, I got another no! I don't understand it! I was a student in one of the top performing arts programs in the country at NYADA, and I had the lead role in a Broadway musical...What's wrong?" she answered in tears.

"...Did you tell them that? Remind them of what you've achieved?" Kurt replied. Rachel could almost see his raised eyebrow when he answered her question.

Responding immediately she cut Kurt off, "Of _course_ I did! Although they obviously had read through all of the achievements on my CV, there was no harm in reminding them of how I am a star and how grateful they should be to have me working on their show!"

"And in all of these meetings that you've had, has anybody explained to you what the problem is? I know it might be hard to hear, but have you asked them, so that you can work on it?" Kurt mused out loud.

"But I'm perfect Kurt. The talent agency told me that I shouldn't change a thing! Clearly these people I've been meeting with just don't understand my talent."

Kurt was silent for a while, trying to figure out how to explain to Rachel that if things weren't going well, that she might need to adapt accordingly. Clearly something was wrong if she was being denied opportunities at every turn. The girl had talent!

"Rachel, honey…You're incredibly talented, but maybe the tv projects you've been discussing with the studios just aren't the right match? Find out more about the people you're meeting with and the projects that they might want you on board for before you get to the meeting. It might help?"

"Right! There's nothing wrong with me, I just need to find the project that best suits my talent. I can do this. My star can't be kept hidden Kurt, it needs to shine brightly!"

"If you say so Rachel. I still think you need to speak to some of the studio people you've already met and find out what went wrong," Kurt replied, rolling his eyes at Blaine, who had just let himself into the loft.

"_Rachel_," he mouthed to his fiancé before turning his attention back to the phone conversation.

"Look, Kurt, I have to go. But I have another meeting tomorrow. Surely they'll understand why I am the best person for the role. I'll call you tomorrow night and let you know how it went!" Rachel responded before hanging up.

Kurt looked down at his phone, wondering if that had really just happened. He knew Rachel had talent, but he was concerned about her attitude and her refusal to consider compromising to meet the demands of the television executives she was meeting with.

Blaine crawled onto the sofa where Kurt had been sitting and curled up in his lap. Seeing the frown on his fiancé's face, he immediately asked what was wrong.

"Is everything ok? Rachel's not in trouble or anything, is she?"

"No. Not really. She's just struggling out in LA. I don't think the meetings with the tv studios are going very well for her," Kurt replied. "She's going to give me a call tomorrow night to let me know how her next meeting goes. Hopefully she'll get a positive response, or at least some constructive feedback."

The next morning, Rachel woke up and prepared for her meeting that day. She had a good feeling that today was _the day_! After being dropped off for the meeting with the writers and producers of a new show that they were trying to develop, based on the life of a group of high school choir students, Rachel was feeling especially positive. Her personal experience with Glee club back in Lima, Ohio meant that she was perfect for the role! She would get to showcase her amazing vocal talent to millions of television viewers!

"Miss Berry, we appreciate you coming in to meet with us today, but I'm afraid after our discussion, you're just not what we're looking for in this role."

"…But…Why?" she snapped in response. "I was the leader of my high school Glee club, and lead our team to a national title. I was accepted into the prestigious musical theatre program at NYADA. I had the _lead role_ in a Broadway musical! Clearly I have the musical talent for this role. I don't understand what the problem is!"

Rachel was borderline shouting by the end of her tirade. The group of writers and producers seated in front of her looking up in surprise at her outburst.

"Look, Rachel…Nobody here is denying you've got the voice," one of the producers replied. "It's just that we're concerned over your lack of commitment to the project."

"Commitment? Of course I'm committed!"

"Are you really? The CV we were given, along with your answers to our questions suggests otherwise. You dropped out of NYADA mid-semester to take up a role on Broadway. Then, upon taking the role in Funny Girl, you were offered a potential development deal out here in Los Angeles. However, instead of seeing out your performance contract with the show, you terminated it early while your understudy was out injured, leaving the show without a suitably prepared leading lady for four weeks. You have failed to give reasonable justification for your actions beyond saying that a better opportunity presented itself. If we were to hire you, how are we to believe that you won't leave us like you have done previously?" the producer responded.

Rachel was stunned. This was the problem? "Of course, this is different. I am fully committed to this project! It's my dream!"

"Your track record indicates otherwise though Miss Berry. We cannot afford to take the risk of hiring you given your notorious flights of fancy. Unfortunately, this is a small and tight knit community. People talk, and the decision makers are concerned about investing in you when they don't trust you."

The meeting wrapped up shortly after, with few words said by either side. What had been said told the story, nothing could be done to salvage the outcome.

Kurt didn't hear from Rachel that night. Nobody heard from her for months, except for her two fathers back in Ohio. Never once did she mention the reason for her failure in Los Angeles. The development deal that had been on the table was terminated by the tv studio when they realised that none of the writers or producers were actually willing to work with Rachel Berry.

Like so many others that came before her, Rachel didn't realise that raw talent only got you so far in the world. Having the right attitude and being able to manage professional relationships were critical to success, and the bridges she had burned with Carmen Tibideaux upon leaving NYADA, and with Sydney Green when terminating her contract for Funny Girl had resulted in a shattered reputation for not showing commitment.

With nobody willing to hire Rachel in a professional capacity any longer, she returned to Lima and attended community college to get her teaching diploma. Eventually she found herself teaching music and running the Glee club back at McKinley. She regularly wondered why people couldn't just accept her voice.

Maybe her star just burned too brightly for them, blinding them to her talent? Perhaps Rachel would have been better off studying physics at school, not realising that stars eventually die out.


End file.
